The best kind of criticism we can receive is criticism that accurately reflects the situation and comes from those who love us and are for us. But sometimes, those who love us and are for us criticize and it is simply not true. How do we navigate that one?
Recently, I created a masterful mess. I won’t go into the gory details here. (But you can read them here). It involved some decisions we made at a leadership training event that really upset some folks. When I sought correction from one of my fellow pastor friends on staff, he responded, “You just need to have more lead time. You get into these situations when you do things at the last minute and don’t think through them completely.”
Okay. That is true sometimes. But in this particular situation, it was not true. This mess did not emerge from incomplete planning. It was a completely pre-meditated and strategically planned mess. We had planned more for that summit than any other summit we had ever done. The criticism about the overall situation may have remained valid. But the specific criticism about my planning practices was simply incorrect.
So…I corrected him. But tried to do so humbly and with gratitude. And recognize that though the criticism may be invalid in this particular situation, that I needed to take it to heart in the future. Because it may still be a valid criticism in general.
Another recent situation. I got an email from a randon NCCer who I had never met who criticized a comment I made in a sermon. The email was respectful and thought-full. But was wrong. They just heard me wrong. I read the email out loud to about 4 people who happened to be in my house when I received it; none of them had heard me say that. I went back and looked at my manuscript and listened to the audio. Yep, the random NCC critic emailer just heard me wrong. So I sent an email back thanking them, re-stating what I had actually said, and explaining how that could have possibly been misunderstood. That random NCC critic emailer is a new BFF.
Sometimes we get criticism that is incorrect, but it comes from the right heart and the right attitude. In that situation, preserving the relationship should be the priority goal. Be grateful that they are willing to speak into your life, humbly correct them, and bravely look forward to the time when they bring you correct criticism.
