“Just tell me everything is going to be okay.”
That’s all my friend wanted me to say. Just a little comfort and assurance. We had just spent about four hours talking about the difficulties she was facing in ministry and leadership and relationships. And we had hashed through the advantages and disadvantages of potential upcoming decisions.
“Just tell me that everything is going to be okay.”
That’s all she wanted. Just one little throw away line to give her heart some warm fuzzies and set her mind at ease. Empathy is not one of my strengths. But I empathized deeply with her in that moment. And I dug deep down into the most empathetic place in my heart…and refused to tell her it was all going to be okay.
We Christians love to say that kind of crap to each other. And I guess in the eternal sense, it is all going to be okay. We know the end. Jesus wins. He reigns. And he’s prepared a place for us. But regarding the matters of these temporal things, we are not assured of anything but God’s grace, goodness, faithfulness, and sovereignty.
“Sorry. I can’t tell you that. Hebrews tells us that some Christ followers were mocked and beaten and stoned and sawed in two and thrown to animals. So yeah– who knows what could happen to you.”
And yes, I pretty much said it exactly like that. Not because I lacked empathy. But because I was filled with empathy in that particular moment.
We Christians love Hebrews 11:1-35. But we never seem to mention the last 5 verses of that great chapter on faith.
“It’s all going to be okay.” Why do we lie like that? I think sometimes we lie unintentionally because our theology is screwed up and we really do think it’s all going to be okay. Most of the time, we lie because we truly want to make the other person feel better. But I think there is often a far more sinister reason why we lie like that. Because we want to be off the hook. If it’s all going to be okay, then we are excused from the responsibility to bear the burdens of those we are in community with. We are excused from praying for them, encouraging them, walking through the much with them. Because hey…Jesus is going to make this all okay. Right?
We lie because we are lazy.
Faith is not an assurance that everything is going to be okay. Faith is the assurance that God is in control and we can trust him. Period.
I don’t think lying in these particular situations is the right response. And certainly not the most Biblical response. The response is to make a decision to be all in. All in spiritually to pray with them and for them. All in emotionally to laugh or cry with them as is appropriate for the situation. All in physically and mentally to walk through the mess and bear their burden with them. Will it all be okay? Maybe. Maybe not. “okay” is relative to the person’s perspective and the situation. We can’t promise that. But we can promise to walk with them.
Great post…I’ve thought of that many times. I thought Jesus promised, “In this world you will have troubles.” The good news is as you’ve said, at the end it will be ok. Not always now though. Thanks for sharing these thoughts.
This reminds me of the video when Matt Chandler shared the news regarding his cancer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMerKVKssQU
My first reaction was that it wasn’t really a lie to say it’s going to be okay. You’re absolutely right that God didn’t promise us flower filled days and restful nights. Life can be tough – and I think sometimes it’s tougher for those “called according to his purpose” because we’re essentially setting ourselves up as targets in a spiritual sense.
But I don’t think it’s a lie to say it’s going to be okay because of the first part of that verse: “all things work together for good.” It IS going to be alright because even though we might not LIKE the path we’re walking, if we’re walking in faith and seeking God’s will it WILL be okay ultimately. We may have to walk through the fire to reach the good. We may have to die to reach the good. But if we’re walking in faith and salvation, we WILL reach the good.
I don’t disagree, however, with your ultimate point that we can’t be lazy in our faith – or in our support for each other. “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” It’s the LAW that we should be doing this. So yeah, throw the fuzzy bunnies out the window. It could be a bumpy ride for all of us.
Thanks Heather; This is right on point! I have always said that our faith is not designed to exempt us from trouble, but rather to sustain us in the time of trouble. This is where the grace, strength, and love of God become paramount. By knowing that all things are working together for our good, gives us the assurance that God’s sovereignty secures our destiny. God indeed has plans for us, but those plans are not ‘about’ us, but are ‘about’ HIM! They are HIS plans for us! This is where are theology get’s twisted, because we want to believe that God’s plans are for us and ‘about’ us! Yet the scriptures are replete of accounts where peoples’ and person’s journeys were so much more about God than them. ‘Everything will be okay, because God is in control! Hopefully, I’m ‘okay’ with that!
Thanks! (I will be borrowing this for my weekly pastoral reflection!)
Andre’
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